Even the Brightest Light has its Shadows
by Lykoulyn
Summary: Sain, I...I think I'm in love with you. Watch as these simple words cause Sain's world to crumble...an introspective fic mainly in Sain's POV
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem

**Even the Brightest Light has its Shadows… **

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"Sain," she whispered, "I…I think I'm in love with you…" It's been three days since she told me, three days since she confessed to me, and three days since my world starting crumbling. "Why?" I screamed to the silent darkness. Why did she have to say those things to me, why couldn't she understand? Those three words that people hold so sacred and pure, I hate them; I curse it with every ounce of life remaining in me. "This is a dream." I whispered, "it's a mistake, I worked too hard…This cannot be happening!" How long has it been I asked myself, how long since I made that single vow, "I will never love, and none shall ever love me. I shall protect, but none shall ever love me." To follow that single promise I made myself a fool, a jackass, spewing love like a madman… because then, no one would admire me. I am a knight of Caelin, and I will follow the duties of my knighting; I would fight for my land, lord, and people.

I have no family, but those that fight with me have become my siblings, and so each "brother" that dies in a battle takes with him a part of my soul. So limited is the remainder, that I have been left hollow and empty. But I will not show my weakness, I am a knight of Caelin, and I must be strong. So as a parting gift to those that have left me, I smile of happier times, a beautiful mask that holds each name and memory. They need only to look, and pass on with the reassurance that I will continue their lives dreams. I will never forget them, and to this day none have slipped my memory. Each name, face, and personality has been branded into my mind, my memory refusing to forget. This cursed memory that is as useful as it is torturous. I could never be a commander, ordering men to their deaths. Sacrificing lives in order for a greater good… treating human lives as a tool for a war. No, I'll leave that business to someone else, I am content with the authority of a sub-commander. I will lead my family into the front lines and save as many as I can, my shield and sword shining brightly, tinted red by the fading light.

"Sain, is that you!" Kent called, bringing me back from my thoughts. "What are you doing in the middle of the cemetery, and in this infernal cold? Quickly, let us return to the castle, it is far too late of hour to remain awake." "You speak truly" I replied my smile quick to return, and as we returned to the castle I looked back once more, "Good-night my dear kinsmen…I will visit again."

Authors Note:

Yeah, should I continue this? I really don't have a lot of time, but if someone really likes it then I'll try my best to update…no promises though.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem

Author's Note: I know that some people might think this is heavy on the angst, but I promise that it's not for too long. The angst is just to highlight and explain certain aspects of Sain's personality and past. Also there is romance (and later on conflict), and if done correctly, the angst (which will not last for much longer) should only serve to strengthen the other aspects of the story. Therefore please be patient for a little while longer, and I also thank Vaun Harkinian, RLnaruhina, Drakedragon, and Jackswitch for their reviews. It means a lot, and I only hope that this chapter meets your expectations. Constructive criticism is appreciated, just don't flame me. Second fic, be nice.

**And When Innocence is Lost; only Bitterness Remains… **

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In a shabby shed of meager possessions, a small flame burned brightly. The flame is burning purely, its colored glow bright, warming a four year-old boy and his father from the cold chilly night. "Father," the boy asked, "where has Mother gone? You promised me that she would come back tonight…" "My dear child," the father cut in, "Your mother loves you very much," he said, "but it seems she could not return to us tonight. Now come, it is late, go quickly to your bed. Your father will remain a little while longer, just in case she comes late." And so with a pout the little boy left, too young to understand his father and recognize his pain. So on that cold bitter night, vivid dreams of his mother quietly were filling his head.

Ten years have passed, and the boy no longer waits. The truth of his mother had been revealed, a confession from his father's last breaths. It was no startling shock, the boy had already suspected, feared, and known. He and his father were abandoned, and it was then that he vowed never to forgive her, not when she was the last name his dying father had chosen to speak of…even dream of. "Father, the boy whispered, "I have come to pay my last respects, I leave tomorrow for the capital. I will become a knight to protect the land you loved so much. I had to sell everything, but I'll get them all back one day…so please wait patiently. I'll return them to you soon. Good-bye Father, sleep well."

"Another beautiful morning," Sain exclaimed cheerfully, "a perfect morning for training. Don't you agree Kent?" "Since when have you sought to train," The stoic man replied, "and why do you need me to be your partner?" "Ah, you wound me! This is all for **_you_** Kent, I spent all night creating a secret training regimen! In the morning we are to visit the town square, and then after that we go visit the outlying farms, and then at night…well we might have to wait a bit before you're ready for that…I mean without training and experience, how else are you going be an expert on women? You think it's easy being me?"

Shocked at Sain's sudden outburst, Kent could only stare gaping, words barely stumbling out of his mouth, "…I…I never thought you worked so hard… I must apo- wait a minute…an expert of women!" Outraged by the implications, Kent started ranting angrily, "You drag me out away from my commander duties so that you can go womanizing again! What the hell are you doing wasting my time with such stupid, pointless, and of all the things to call it, a training regimen! Sain what the hell are you think…ing?"

Shivering at the suddenly gloomy and despairing atmosphere, Kent looks and realizes that Sain is huddled at the center of the stifling aura, an alien expression of misery etched on the normally bright and lively face.

In a barely audible whisper, Sain mumbled painfully, "All my hard work…stupid, pointless…what have I lived for?"

Cringing at the tangible bitterness, Kent quickly tried to make amends, before his odd friend dicided to do anything drastic. "Sa- Sain I'm sorry, really I am. Please, I didn't mean it, get up… don't look at me like that, **_please_**?"

"No, you're right Kent, all of it was wrong, my life is worthless, and there is no point in me continuing to live, GOOD-BYE CRUEL WORLD!" And with a burst of inhuman speed, Sain ran to the nearby guard tower, preparing to jump to instant death.

"NO, Kent screamed in panic, "Sain, come down from there, you don't have to do this! Let's reconsider let's…let's go do your training!" Seeing no response from the miserable Sain, Kent tried once more. "I was wrong, it's not stupid… it's not pointless; I understand now, it's undeniably im…por…tant…?" Not knowing whether to be happy or mad, Kent only stared disbelievingly at a smiling Sain, who had suddenly just appeared as Kent finished his last sentence.

"Well, as long as you understand Kent," replied a very smug Sain. "Now come, your senseless case of denial has already made us waste ten minutes."

"Ah Kent you poor naive fool," Sain mused, "who knew you you'd actually say the things I told you to?" Having abandoned Kent at the tavern some time ago in a very awkward situation, Sain lay inside a small cave, well hidden by its surroundings. "Just wait a little longer," he whispered, "I finally got it back, and now I can return it to you. Just a little bit longer Dad…I'm going home." Reaching for the pouch to his right, he pulled out a small statue the size of his hand. Made in the semblance of Saint Elimine, it was gift from a powerful high priest to his father's family. The body was mainly sapphire, decorated with dark rubies and emeralds, but the most striking aspect of the statue was not from its gems, but from the pure light that radiated from it. Said to have been blessed by Saint Elimine herself, the statue was said to protect the man that possessed it, its radiant light blessing the man who possessed it.

After selling it to a pawn broker three years ago, Sain saved money like mad, determined to reclaim his father's treasure. He made do with the bare minimum in everything; sacrificing food, weapons, and supplies in his desperate attempt to gain money. He always feared that the pawnbroker would sell it before he could get it back. For three years he had cast away his pride, shamelessly flirting for food, and riding into battle with only a single weapon. Everyone around him perceived him as careless and stupid, a rookie that would not survive his first assignment. Under an alias, he started bets on his survival from battles, playing people's interests by wearing less and less armor, or volunteering, under a falsified name, for missions that held survival rates so low it was almost the same as suicide.

"Three years of hell," Sain muttered to himself, "and this cursed memory of mine will never allow me to forget them." When he was only eight year-old, Sain realized that he was different from the other children. He never forgot anything, and if he saw it once, he could imitate it perfectly, even improving upon it with minimal effort. His memory never missed anything, and his body responded to every command his mind gave it. Excited by his new discovering he had shown told this to his father, expecting praise form his dad, thoroughly confused at his father's panic. "Sain, his father said frightened, "you must never tell anyone else of your talent. You cannot let anyone know." And so as his father's fear affected Sain as well, a promise of secrecy was made. Now nine years later he was reaping the benefits of his gift, surviving missions said to be impossible, and besting warriors possible twenty years his senior.

"Were you worried that I would be pulled into this life father? Don't worry, I can stop now, no one knows. I'll be able to see you tomorrow father, sleep well." Replacing the statue back into the pouch, he placed the statue with his weapons and shield; all safely within arms reach. Then when all was done, he leaned against the wall and faced the hidden entrance, falling to light slumber; dressed in full armor, one eye still open.


End file.
